Behind the walls
by ivan n'scent
Summary: I wrote this to hurt you.


**BEHIND THE WALLS**

Her hand clasped against her swollen abdomen, wrinkling the pastel yellow dress her husband had given on their first anniversary. She crouched on that spot, glancing from side to side hoping to catch a glimpse of a familiar face amid this sea of strangers. This city was too crowded for her liking, what was their purpose of going in here anyway?

Letting out a big exhale, she pulled herself up to sit properly on the bench. No one noticed this pregnant woman in pain. Most often than not, urban people are indifferent.

The sun was bright but its rays did nothing to increase the temperature. Still winter, hence, bloody cold. A snow-less winter, by the way.

She glanced up to the blue sky. The tip of her nose was red and numb, so as her cheeks and ears. As she sat there pondering in silence where her husband could have gone to, a silhouette of a tall man blocked the sun shining on her face.

"Are you alright? I've been watching you from my shop," he stated, flashing a kind smile. Or at least she thought it was a smile. "My son and I decided you're definitely not doing well."

She smiled and sighed in relief. _Finally,_ she thought, _a kind soul noticed me._ She pulled off her beanie, letting her long teal locks fell loose at her back. The air was chilly but it was better than feeling the freezing air at the back of her neck. Her husband had her scarf, so her long hair could be a substitute to it.

"Thank you," she grabbed the hand he has been holding out for her, shaking it. "Your offer is generous and kind, but I'm waiting for my husband. If I leave this place he might miss me."

"You shouldn't worry. My store is right there. You can tell I have a perfect view of this spot. If my son and I didn't miss you, surely, you wouldn't miss your husband either."

The sun made him look as if he had its corona; his sandy hair looked pale. She knew he had a smile on. Gut feeling. His gentle grip on her hand told her he had no ulterior motives. A good man is hard to find these days; his wife must be blessed.

"I'm Miku," she pulled herself up, almost tumbling backwards because her weight surprised the guy. He was able to keep both of them still, anyhow. However, she felt the pain on her baby bump again. "Thank you very much… sir."

"I'm Len, owner of the Dandelion Café," he chuckled, "I know that's a weird name for a café but my son and I aren't very creative."

Len was a head taller than her. His eyes caught her attention right away. Miku never thought that any blue eyes could be prettier than his—somehow, she hoped her baby would have blue eyes like his, but, _ugh_ , her husband got rare fiery red eyes—and she liked that. The blueness of his eyes reminded her of the vast oceans one would like to visit on summer vacations. It's the sea where you could see marine animals right away because of its clarity. Though she loves her husband's fiery red eyes, she hoped her baby would have blue eyes - which was highly improbable since she got green and none from their family had blue orbs.

He helped her walk through the throng of people, mostly it was him protecting her from getting crashed by the crowd. After a short walk, they reached the café.

The door opened with a ding as the warm air welcomed her cold face. The place's cosiness instantly calmed and relaxed her tensed body, tired and pained from staying outside. There was a scrambling noise resonating from the wooden floor, quick light steps made (perhaps) by shorter strides. Soon enough, a younger blond boy hugged Len with a big smile on his face. He was a head smaller than Miku; his unruly hair was a few shades darker than his father, but that didn't make him less handsome. Just looking at his face sparked off warmth fluttering in her chest. She thought it must be maternal instincts. The boy blinked at them, his round eyes studied her. Miku felt like hugging the boy.

"I told you, Dad! She's pretty!" he was pointing a finger at her as if she was a prized doll he couldn't ever have.

"Sure, she's beautiful. Now don't make our guest uncomfortable. Pull her a seat," Len grabbed the boy's hand and trusted the lad to take Miku to a good spot where she could see the bench outside.

"H'llo, I'm Lui Kagamine. I'm eight," the bubbly boy chirped as he watched her settle on the chair. "The baby must've been heavy…"

She chuckled. Did he assume such because she looked so troubled walking and sitting?

"Somehow, yes. It's my seventh month now." Miku waited for Lui's reaction, watching his round eyes stare at her baby bump in curiosity. This boy was so adorable. His flushing chubby cheeks and thin pinkish lips… goodness. God favoured this kid too much.

"I bet your mom had trouble carrying you when you were a baby. You're lively young man, I presume."

Lui flashed her a handsome grin. Despite the tolerable murmurs of the customers, the jazz playing as a background music, and the chiming sounds of the mugs Len was preparing on the counter, Lui's answer was clear.

"Oh, I have no idea about that. I'm adopted."

It was her turn to look at the boy curiously. For someone adopted, he bears a strong resemblance with his stepfather. Is Len a relative, then? That sounded plausible. The words left her tongue, going blank with the bomb this cute boy just dropped.

"S-sorry," she patted his head, his hair was surprisingly soft. "That's very insensitive of me."

"No worries," his big bright grin was back. "Must be nice to have a mum. So, hey, baby…" Lui leaned forward and placed his small palm on her stomach. "Hey, baby. Be a good boy—or girl—to this missy, okay? Because if you won't…maybe I'll make her my mum-" the last words were muffled as Len came and covered Lui's mouth.

The father had an apologetic smile as he brought down a mug of hot choco with his other hand. "I'm sorry. Lui's just talkative."

"I don't mind. Your boy's a cute man," Miku said, wrapping her hands on the warm mug. "He said he's adopted. Are you his uncle or cousin by birth?"

"I'm not," Len smiled, pulling a seat opposite hers. "We're not related at all. I got him from an orphanage when I was twenty-four. It's hard to do the papers when you're a bachelor…" the older blond shooed the boy back to the barista, ignoring the unwillingness written all over his face. "Heh, so stubborn."

"I hope you don't mind me saying this but… you look awfully similar. Have you tried DNA testing?"

Both of them watched the kid as he went back to the counter. Lui asked the barista to sit him on the tall seat before the counter, and after some twisting and kicking he was now facing the two. Waving his smalls hands to them, he beamed.

"I don't mind, Miku. I get that a lot. And no, I never thought of DNA matching-stuff-whatsoever. It doesn't matter now, does it? I'm legally his father. Raising Lui was fun as a single parent. So, what about you? Seven months is quite critical. Why are you out there in the cold?"

She smiled, returning Lui's wave. "My husband bought a house in this city, we are moving in today. He said I always say this place in my sleep, so maybe it will help me remember something."

He had a puzzled look when he asked, "Like what sort of _something_?"

"Memories, at the very best." Miku sipped a little on her mug while Len patiently waited for the next part of her story. This time he had his eyes on her. Lui was calling out to them, but the boy's voice drowned with comfortable noise in the background.

"I was in an accident eight years ago," Miku began, her hands caressing the mug. "The worst accident if I may say so. Bad weather, I was on a cruise ship… attacked by hijackers… I lost all my memories."

Len gawked in awe. It wasn't the nicest way to tell such horrible story, but it was better than to trigger any form of trauma, right? "You don't look affected at all," was all he said.

"That's because I can't remember anything until today," she sighed. "My real name, where I am from… who I am with on that trip… I can't remember. Even after broadcasts on telly about my origins, my husband got no feedback. Either I'm an orphan or my family disinherited me, these are the only possibilities I can think of. After a year of trying to trace my roots, he gave up. He helped me restarting my life and soon enough, we fell in love. After years of being together, we married last year. This is our first child."

The blond smiled, eyes glancing back to the crowded streets outside. "You're lucky with your husband, then. Is he a tall redhead? There's a guy who looks sick worried prancing in front the same bench."

Glancing outside, a smile lit her face. "Oh, he is! Do you mind calling him for me?"

With a wince, Len stood and called out for the said husband. She didn't understand why, but watching Len's retreating back felt...nostalgic.

* * *

Fukase put the red scarf around her neck, her chin tucked in the said cloth. His wife had a frown plastered on. Though it was barely visible, the way her brows furrow gave that away.

"Thank you very much. I appreciate your kindness a lot, mister…" Fukase trailed off awkwardly, stretching his hand out to the blond.

"Kagamine, Len Kagamine." The blond smiled and shook his hands. "I wish you the best."

"Yep! Good-bye, missy." Lui peeked behind Len, waving a big goodbye to the pregnant lady.

Miku smiled and reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. There was no hiding that she liked this adorable little man. "Thank you so much, Len and Lui. I hope to see you again some time." With that, the couple left Dandelion Café.

Miku and Fukase's ride to their new home took half an hour. On their way, Fukase explained that he went back to the furniture shop they visited earlier that day to look for his keys. It was due to his carelessness that he neglected his wife out there in the cold. Even though Miku found it irritating, she held his hand on the wheel and flashed him a smile. This maldroit was simply cute. Who would have thought they were twenty-and-eight?

"I understand, stop apologizing now."

He shook his head no, red curls following his head. "I almost put you and our baby in a dangerous situation. I'm sorry."

She rolled her eyes, knowing this wouldn't stop at all. "Yes, that. But I am doing fine, am I not? I get to meet our first friend in town, too. So all is well," she smiled. "Don't be such a worrywart."

"You sure you didn't fall for him? Mr. Kagamine is handsome—ouch!"

Miku pinched his cheeks, unhappy with what Fukase just said. She was not that kind of woman at all.

"I love you, Fukase."

He looked at her with eyes she knew so well, those were orbs holding wells of sorrow. He was a guy with such a low self-esteem because of the burn on his face. The ugly mark of his heroic deed. A scar he got after saving someone from his old high school set ablaze. It hurt her to hear him say that if one day she fell in love with another man, he would let her go. It pained her to hear those from him; however, she knew as well that those words prove his love to her. Fukase loves her more than she loves him.

"Yeah," he sighed in relief, eyes back on the rough road uphill. "I love you, too. Sorry if I am being petty again."

"You're cute when you're sulky," she laughed and leaned back on her seat. The sky over this town was murky, reminding her that it was wintry cold outside the car.

Fukase bought a house in this state because, yes, she would often say this place in her sleep. He tried looking for her origins here but it was unsuccessful. Although finding her family here was a failure, he decided to buy that _house_ near the sea, mainly because Miku was fascinated with the view of the ocean. Fukase could still remember when she first woke up from coma, she couldn't believe that she survived a ship hijacking, saying that the ocean was such a nice grave. Hearing that misled him that she remembers everything, that maybe she was a depressed lady on board, but when he asked for her name… Fear resurfaced on her eyes.

"We're almost there, Miku." Fukase glanced at the shotgun seat. She was staring at the cliff next to them, the gray sea was waving its greeting. "Enjoying the view?"

"I love it," she chuckled. "This feels home."

"I wonder if you're a mermaid who exchanged her golden voice for a pair of human legs," he teased, turning the wheel to enter an open garden. "Good news, though. You found your prince before you fade like sea foam."

"Sure, Prince Eric," she laughed but was silenced when a huge white house came into vicinity. "Are you rich all this time?"

He shrugged, saying he sold his inherited land to buy this. The two hurriedly went to the house, feet lightly walking over the green grass of the garden. There were sparks on her eyes reeking off familiarity and glee. The way Miku admired the place seemed like it has been years since she last saw the place.

"They said this was abandoned by a newlywed eight years ago," Fukase explained, turning the keys. "The guy's parents sold the house just like that. The real estate agent knew nothing more than that, but he assured this wasn't haunted."

"That's a good thing, I suppose." Miku kissed his cheek and pushed the doors open.

The two entered the house. The high ceiling, the furniture covered with white cloths, the dusty floor… everything made Miku feel ecstatic.

"Be careful while looking around," Fukase called out as Miku went upstairs. Maybe she would check which bedroom had the perfect view of the sea. Smiling as he watched her retreating form, he welcomed himself _at home._

Miku found herself inside the master's bedroom which has the best view of the sea. She didn't know why, however it seemed like her body knows which place to go. The waves crashing on the shore sounded like a soft lullaby from this distance. Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew that the sea would sound like that. It felt like the master's bedroom was placed here for that purpose. Walking towards the built-in closet, she began searching for something she knew not. Her hands fumbled as it touched the wooden planks. She stopped grasping for something unknown when she accidentally discovered that one of the planks were removable. Taking it off, it revealed a small knob. Pregnant or not, she's in for adventures. She pushed it and the small door opened.

It was a cramped space where people could only store paper-thin stuff. Surely, there were documents kept there. All were wrinkled and destroyed by water, she assumed, given how all the pictures and letters were washed out. Well, except for one. There was one document sealed inside a plastic. It had a marriage certificate, perhaps, of the previous owners. _Allen Kaye_ and _Michaela Hughes._ The next document was a birth certificate of their child, bearing the name of _Luis Kaye_.

"The boy must have been eight now," she murmured, reaching out to get the destroyed photographs and documents. There were pictures of the couple standing before the house. However, besides the house nothing else is recognisable in the picture. The lower half of the photograph was washed out like a painting; colours were permanently diffused on the paper. One photograph was a little clear, though. It was the baby. He was probably about a month old here; his cheeks and nose were red.

"Hello, Mr and Mrs Kaye. We will make sure to make this place a nice home." Miku was about to return the documents where she found it when another thing fell off the hideout. It was a notebook kept in a plastic seal as well.

* * *

"Missy, fancy seeing you here...again!" Lui greeted as he put a mug of hot chocolate drink on Miku's table. Fukase hired a group of people to clean the house the next day. Since Miku is allergic with dust, Fukase decided she would spend the day in Dandelion, which was fine with her. She would get to see this cute waiter, so why not?

"Lui, it's _Miku._ " She patted the empty spot next to her, wordlessly asking the boy to keep her company. "Is it a busy day for you?"

"Nope! Dad said I stay with the preggy missy from yesterday."

Chuckling, she looked at Lui. "Did he really call me _'preggy missy'_?"

"He doesn't," Lui snickered, then lowered his voice for his next words. "He calls you pretty momma."

"What the heck," Miku burst into a melodious laughter which alarmed the boy's father from the counter. He seemed to know his son was saying some awfully made lies.

"Lui," Len called, his face was frantic. "Miku, did he say something about me?"

This made the woman laugh more. "Wow, this looks like the usual case. And yes, he said something awful," Miku grabbed the boy and hugged him. "Don't get so worked up. It's fine."

"Oh no, the last time he made up a story I got punched in the face. What is it that he said?" Len was serious, on one hand. It seemed that he wouldn't let this go just like that. Afraid that he might scold his boy, Miku chuckled again.

"Whatever it is, I'm not going to punch you. Okay? He said you call me _'pretty momma',_ which is accurate if you think about it." Miku covered the boy's eyes from meeting his dad's glare and added, "Don't lash it on the kid. I'm definitely a pregnant mother. And a pretty one at that, I guess."

"Sure, you're beautiful. I didn't call you that, Miku." Len had an upset expression. "Sorry if he's rambling things. And Lui, I'm upset with you."

"Don't be," she smiled, shooing the man back to work. "You've got more customers, café daddy."

Lui and Miku snickered as Len went away, rolling his eyes. The boy excused himself to apologize to his dad, in which she let him go. When left alone again, Miku brought out the notebook which turned out as Michaela Kaye's diary-or more like, Michaela's diary before she married Allen. It might be bad reading someone else's diary, but she was curious. And so, Miku spent the day reading Michaela's diary.

As Miku read the diary, she began feeling the emotions Michaela had when she wrote this. The dates of the entries had huge gaps. The owner began to write when she was fifteen, and the entries became regular when she turned twenty. Michaela was telling stories of how she met Allen one summer's day when she was fifteen.

 _The skies were clear that day._ Michaela was out to swim when she found a boy in hoodie, sleeping on the shore. His camel shorts were drenched with the seawater. And he cared not if his shorts were wet. According to Michaela, _he looked like a beautiful corpse lying on the beach. His lemon hair was long enough that you can see its strands sprawled against the sand._ She stood by his face, blocking the sun from his face (now pink because of the sun). Feeling the rays hitting his visage no more, the boy opened his eyes.

Miku smiled at Michaela's next words. _He's got the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen. Seeing them made her heart thump crazily in her chest. He's got vivid ocean eyes, its clarity made her fall into the emptiness that he was. She just knew he was sad; and that sadness was bottomless._ Michaela phrased the last sentence this way, _"I fell in love with the sadness in his eyes. Sorrow isn't supposed to look so comely, but his loneliness was lovely."_

"What a strange woman," Michaela sipped on her mug. But if she'd think about it, they were the same. Didn't she fall for Fukase due to a similar reason?

Michaela's next diary stated that the she didn't see the boy the next days. She didn't get his name. When the boy opened his eyes, he stared at her but decided to roll over and continue sleeping under the sun. Michaela was ignored by the boy so she went to swim in the sea. After half an hour, she saw three men in black suit, calling out for the boy. Strangely, they were calling him _"young master"._

Michaela's fifth diary entry took place the next summer. She didn't write consistently the previous year. This time, she was out for a swim again. Dressed in her rashguard, she was about to hop to the water when someone called out to her. It was the boy with lemon hair, the same guy from last year. He was taller and manlier this time. His eyes remained the same, nevertheless. This summer, the two were able to converse. He asked what she was doing last year. She told him she thought he was dead. The two teenagers talked. She was an orphan. He was a son of some wealthy business-people he hardly met. Their face-to-face talks ended that summer, but it continued through snail mails.

"Goodness, this is so mushy. I wish I had a similar teenage memory." Miku was served a piece of cake which she ate later. She just smiled at Len when he put the plate on her table and went back to reading.

Michaela talked so much about Allen, the lemon boy. When they were seventeen, they shared their first kiss. The emptiness in his eyes began to fade. She said she loved _his vibrant happy eyes, too. Michaela liked Allen: the sad Allen, the cheerful Allen, the angry Allen, the sick Allen… the entire Allen, she loves him_. These sentiments of Michaela set Miku to thinking that this was pretty deep for seventeen, or perhaps this was an ephemeral love and the couple thought it was true love.

When Michaela said she would make a place to make Allen at home, Miku stopped reading. She began to see the shore where Michaela found Allen the first time, the small shack near the shore where they shared their first kiss, the rundown house just above the sea where all other _firsts_ happened. Everything was so vivid that Miku began to see how the house Fukase bought looked like the way Michaela described it. The courtyard was covered with vines and at the bottom of the walls, there grew rose trees. The garden was full of wild flowers dancing with the wind. It was a serene and simple paradise for two _home_ less people.

"Len," she called out. "Can I have a glass of water, please."

The blond came back immediately, handing her a glass of water. Her head hurt and so was her abdomen. The look he had told her he was worried.

"I'm fine," she assured, drinking from the glass. "Maybe I'm reading too much. Do you have a place where I can rest a little?"

"You said you're allergic to dust. Maybe it's the notebook?" he asked, holding out his hand. When she shook her head no, he pulled her up with utmost care. She wondered when did she tell him she was allergic to dust. "There's a couch inside. Lui is sleeping on the matt."

"Thank you. Please tell my husband I'm resting a little if he comes to check up on me."

"Sure," he said, opening the door for her. "Go straight down this hall. You'll see Lui in an instant."

Miku smiled and walked by herself. Meanwhile, Len went back to clean her table. As he picked up the glass and plate, he noticed the old notebook beside the half-empty mug of hot choco.

"Is this her diary?" he thought, flipping through the pages. Seeing the name _Michaela Hughes_ scribbled on the verse, he realized it wasn't hers. He tucked it under his arm while carrying the crockery and silverware. However, something slipped off the pages as he turned around. It was a picture of two teenagers surrounded by undergrowth, big smiles plastered on their lips. As the picture fell beneath the table unnoticed, Len walked back to the counter.

* * *

The house was tidy and dustless by the time Miku went back later that evening. It was about past half six when they returned, and she was barely awake on their way home. When Fukase came to pick her up, Len told him that she was resting inside. The blond and the redhead talked, while Len guided the two. The men were surprised to see Miku sleeping on the mattress with Lui next to her. It was such a cute sight, given that the two were lying down on puzzle matts.

"Wake up," Fukase shook her up gently. "We're home."

Miku smiled at the sound of _home_ coming from Fukase. "Hey," she said, releasing herself from the seatbelt. She could see two men coming out of their house, loading some equipment to their truck. The house was well-lighted, somehow it felt as cosy as Dandelion.

The two went out of the car to thank the helpers. Fukase proceeded on paying them while she walked straight inside the house. It was bright. The atmosphere was fresh, calm and warm. She was home. This _is_ home. Her fingers traced the wooden handrails which were dusty yesterday. It felt smooth under her fingertips, as if they were manually polished with wax. Slowly she ascended upstairs, enjoying the quiet aura at home. A hand on the handrail, the other on her swollen abdomen.

"Do you like our home, baby?" she asked and walked to the master's bedroom. The sound of the waves lulled her to bed. It was so comfortable she could sleep her forever. However, as she laid down on the bed, she remembered Michaela's diary…

"Did I leave it at the café?"

"What did you leave behind?" asked Fukase, entering the room as he turned the lights on. "We can go back there tomorrow, if you want to go with me."

She looked at her husband with the question echoing in her head. Exactly. What did she leave behind?

"Miku? I'll bring the dinner up here, 'kay?" kissing her forehead, the redhead left the room again. As her view of his retreating back blurred, tears overwhelmed her eyes. She didn't understand what she felt, if it was because she was pregnant and emotional. But she saw it, the frame hanging next to the door that's why her tears even fell harder.

 _You're my home._

* * *

"She can be a good mum, Dad." Lui kneeled in front his dad, his elbows propped on his thighs. The boy was pouting, making his thin lips look plump. "Come on, Dad. Don't tell me you disagree now? Yesterday you just called her _pretty momma,_ you liar."

"This is why I won't tell you anything anymore," Len rolled his eyes, picking his son up and sitting him on his lap. "You're so talkative, can't even keep a secret! You have no idea just how embarrassing that is for me."

Lui pushed Len's face away, whining as if he's someone younger. "I thought she'd be a good mum?"

"She's got a husband, young man. They're married happily, okay? We're not home wreckers. Stop asking for impossible. So far she's a good friend, why don't you stick with that?" Len stared at his son, at his boy's red nose and pink cheeks. _Too cute._ His arms were wrapped around this small blond who's longing for a mother figure.

Too much resemblance? Yes, he got that a lot. For someone who he just adopted from the orphanage, he felt strong affection towards this kid, too. He cared for Lui too much that he tried looking for his real parents, but the orphanage told him that the boy was just left at the gates of the building and that the only information they have about Lui was that his birth name was _Luis_. Len cared for the boy a lot that despite his parents' disagreement he adopted Lui and raised him up.

"Hey, dad." Lui captured his dad's face with his small palms, squishing the older man's face until he looked like an octopus. "I love you."

Oh, dear. Lui's back on attack. "Yeah, love you too, young man. What is it that you want?"

"I want Miku-missy as my mom."

Pulling the boy's hands off from his face, he leaned forward and kissed the boy's head. "Dream on. I'd rather remain single until my bones turn to ashes. Go to sleep!"

"Boo!" Lui hopped down and ran to the corner, ready to go to his room, but stopped to ask something to his father for one last time. "Have you met Miku-missy before, dad?"

Len looked at his son from tidying up the living room, cleaning the spilled popcorn on the floor. He hated how Lui looked in his _Pikachu-_ pyjamas. But he loathed how he was forced by the mischievous boy to wear a matching one.

"Miku? No, why do you ask?"

"Hmm… Nothing. I just thought maybe she's an old girlfriend or what."

"We just met her, please." Len laughed at this. He threw some popcorn to the boy and asked him to head to his room now. "Stop hanging out with the barista, young man. You learn so many unnecessary things."

Lui gazed at his dad once more, disappointed that he might be lying. The picture he found under the table where Miku sat told him otherwise. The boy ran obediently to his room, securing the lock to make sure his dad wouldn't barge in. He scampered to his bed and flipped the night lamp on, then proceeded to unloading his apron's pockets with sachets of sugar and toothpicks. The last item he retrieved was a paper folded into a small rectangle. Unfolding it revealed two younger versions of his dad and Miku-missy. Lui was sure that it was his dad and Miku. He wasn't a fast reader but was certain with what was written at the back of the photograph: _You're my home, Michaela._

* * *

 _a/n. Yes, I wrote this to hurt myself. I miss lenku but I'm not that "motivated" to write for the pair anymore. Happy holidays!_


End file.
